How to Actually Get Your Baby to Take a Nap

You’re a pediatric sleep doctor and also a dad. Tell us a little bit more about your background and what made you write a book about sleep training.

My pathway to behavioral sleep medicine was actually roundabout. I was doing research on obstructive sleep apnea, and realized that I needed to understand the behavioral side of it. I had done sleep clinics for adults and children, and started writing handouts on topics that I thought were important. That turned into writing for the web, and I realized there was a need for information for families that was based in evidence. That’s how I ended up writing the book. I’ve also got two kids, who are now 10 and 13. So I’ve been in the trenches, although it’s been awhile since I was living with a baby.

We all know sleep is important to health and well being. But why are naps important for babies?

Every parent knows that there’s a cost to missing out on naps. Babies get irritable and miserable and unhappy, and the downstream implication is that you do too. As a parent, you’re very dependent on that break for your own sanity. We also know that sleep in general is associated with growth, and that during sleep, new connections are formed in the brain. That’s when memories are made. And with babies--their brains are growing so fast and are super active during sleep.

Why do you think naps can be so challenging for parents to figure out?

Yeah, they can be super painful. There are a couple of reasons. First of all, your baby is hopefully doing a lot of sleeping at nighttime. Even if they’re waking up to feed, after the first six to eight weeks, they’re likely getting a big chunk of their required sleep in between the hours of 7pm and 7am, when there’s a lot less variability. During the day, there’s light outside which is a major wakefulness signal. The schedule might change from day to day. There’s more activity going on. Babies get FOMO--like, why should I nap when my older sibling is running around? And especially if you do have an older kid, you might have to take your baby out during their ideal nap time, like for preschool pickup.

Figuring out the timing can be especially challenging. There’s a two-process model that explains why we sleep at certain times and are awake at certain times. First you have the circadian rhythm and body clock, which control wakefulness signals. This is very immature at birth (which is one of the reasons why babies commonly flip days and nights in the first few weeks). Then you also have the other process: a phenomenon called sleep drive. The best way to understand this is that the longer you’re awake, the more likely you are to fall asleep. The reason that babies and little kids nap and adults generally do not is that the younger you are, the more rapidly sleep drive accumulates. The whole thing is very disorganized in the first few weeks of life, but after a month or two babies generally fall into a set pattern of wake up, feed, some awake time, and then sleep. The whole cycle lasts two to three hours. As sleep drive starts accumulating more slowly and babies consolidate their night sleep, naps get longer and they don’t need them as frequently.

So what can you do to encourage your baby to take a good nap?

Just like at night, you lay the foundation by putting together the conditions for good sleep. And if you’re lucky, your child can take advantage of those things. Make the room dark and quiet, just like at bedtime, and do a mini version of your bedtime routine. Keep it quick and simple, like a story and a song and lights out.

During the first few months, your baby is going to nap every one to two hours. For the rest of the first year, most kids have three naps at first, and then drop to two. The first will be an hour or two after getting up, the second one sometime after lunch, and the third one in the afternoon or early evening. It’s always a moving target because as they get older, sleep drive accumulates more slowly and those intervals change. A lot of it is just trial and error. If your baby is super fussy at naptime, you’re probably about 30 minutes too late. They’re revved up and overtired and harder to put down. Take notes on what works, and when things have gone smoothly, and you’ll get into a rhythm. Kids drop that third nap between six and 15 months, which is a huge range. You’ll know it's time when there’s a lot of fighting going down for it and bedtime starts pushing later and later.

What about babies who will only nap in the car or stroller or on mom or dad? How do you get them to sleep in the crib so parents can get some rest, too?

So for the first few months, sleep in motion is fine. But after that, you want to avoid that crutch and put them into their cribs drowsy but awake if at all possible. If your baby isn’t sleeping well in the crib at night, focus on that first and do what you need to survive at naptime. Once your child learns to fall asleep independently at nighttime, it can make the daytime sleep better too.

Stimulating your baby during the day, and getting them physically fatigued, will make it easier for them to fall asleep. Getting outdoors, going for walks… if they’re in your bandwidth, it’s worth trying. But give yourself a break. Naps won’t always be perfect. And that’s okay. It gets easier once they turn one and start walking and really tire themselves out. Just do your best.